HUMOR - part 2

“I don’t have anyone to tell. The 3-year-olds don’t really care.”

~Mary-Louise Parker, actress~

who was handing out snacks at her son’s preschool when she learned she was nominated for a Golden Globe for WEEDS. Jan. 2007. http://groups.msn.com/Mary-LouiseParkerFanPage/

“The questions we ask ourselves now… When we were radicals in the 60's, it was ‘War, war, what is it good for?’ and ‘What’s up pussycat, whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa?’ Even in the 80's, it was ‘What you talkin’ about, Willis?’ Now, it’s ‘Who wants to be a millionaire?’ or ‘Who wants to marry a millionaire?’”

~Jon Stewart, comedian~

2000

“Do you think the Enron CEOs cheat when they play Monopoly?”

~Lisa Kasamoto, writer~

2006

[Chicago on Broadway] It’s a balls-out musical.

~Neil Meron, producer~

“If you think your kids are ever

gonna stop asking for money...

YOU ARE GETTING OLD.”

~credit card commercial~

2005

“Sleep can be induced, even an orgasm can be faked – but not a good laugh.”

~Gloria Steinem, feminist~

Revolution From Within, 1993 book, p. 174

Q: “What about American manners?”

Szymborska: “Rude. Generally sort of curt and rude. But it’s a paradox because, at the same time, Americans make such an effort to strike up a conversation. Within seconds of sitting down next to an American on an airplane, three times out of five, to my intense stress, I know everything about his wife, his girlfriend, where he’s going.”

1996

“See this? My hair is upset [curls]. The moisture seeps in every orifice. Even Paul doesn’t work here. Paul Mitchell, he’s my boyfriend.”

~Irene~

of The Real World: Seattle, TV

“I just thought she was the bee's knees.”

~Mary Kay Adams, actress~

about her Klingon character on Star Trek

“I’m not really a camera guy. I can’t get the flash cube to stay on.”

~Sean Hayes, actor~

on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, TV

“Weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.”

~t-shirt~

“Got shrimp?”

~t-shirt~

at Bubba Gump restaurant (Forrest Gump); Kailua-Kona, Hawaii

“My baby’s all grown up and saving China.”

~Mulan, movie~

1998, written by Robert D. San Souci and Rita Hsiao; Mushu voice by Eddie Murphy

“Moving Tip #6: Resist the urge to pop bubble paper before packing.”

~moving van~

“The friendly ticket agent explained that... the fare would be $1,898. I, in turn, explained that I wanted to buy a seat, NOT THE ENTIRE PLANE.”